( searching 2634 episodes of College Roomies From Hell!)

• [[Classroom]] Professor: One last thing, ladies and gentlemen... Professor: As you know, we're bombing Iraq. Now and then a missile loses its way... Professor: And you sure remember the effects of radiation on people within the explosion area... Professor: And you sure remember the big KABOOM we heard a while ago... Roger: Hey, can we go now? Mike: Gulp! {{Part of the "It all Started when..." storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990101.html

• [[Classroom]] Mike: Are you trying to say we're all gonna suffer a slow, painful death due to a lost missile formerly destinated to Saddam??? Roger: WHAT? Professor: In fact, I was just kidding. So you see, there are lots of things worse... Professor: ...than the gas leak that blew out the dorm area. By the way, if you want to identify the rest of your clothes, you better start right now. Roger: Okay, so it was a joke. Can we go NOW? {{Part of the "It all Started when..." storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990104.html

• [[Outside]] Mike: Geez! What a DISASTER! Mike: So we lost a lot of stuff and we are gonna sleep in cardboard boxes, but at least nobody got hurt... Roger: Hey you! You're Mike Green, right? I got your Winnie the Pooh undies!! Mike: Just till now... {{Part of the "It all Started when..." storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990105.html

• [[Outside]] Roger: I believe these are yours. HEE-hee! Mike: Thanks, pal. By the way, do you believe in hypnosis? Mike: 'cause if you do, I could say: "Hey, look at my finger! Now you are gonna forget all that undies stuff..." Mike: and if you don't, I'd have to hit you SO HARD, you'd forget everything but your childhood memories... Mike: So. Do you believe in hypnosis? Roger: No, but I DO believe in extreme violence... Hey! Where am I? Last thing I remember is lunch! {{Part of the "It all Started when..." storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990106.html

• [[Hall]] Mike: I'm fine, Ma. I wasn't even near when the whole thing exploded... Homeless? Don't say that, we just don't have a place to stay right now. Mike: I think they're arranging something with the apartment buildings of the area. Right, all my clothes were blown away. Mike: Stop saying that! I'm not naked in the middle of the street! Why do you have to be SO APOCALYPTIC? Sign: List of places available GO GET 'EM! {{Part of the "It all Started when..." storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990107.html

• [[Hall]] Mike: What do you mean, it's too late? All the rooms are taken? Dave: Right. I was in the cafeteria at the same time. Mike: All riiight! And what the heck are we supposed to do now? Dave: We'll have to choose a room occupied but not full. Mike: Wait! But that means... Dave: I'll wonder all my life if that twinky was worth sharing my life with the campus FREAKS! {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990108.html

• [[Apartment Hall]] Mike: First try... Mike: Hi! I'm Mike Green, I still don't have a room and I... Ray: Sure, maaaan. Come in. Mike: What's THAT music?? It makes my hair stand on end!! Ray: Hindu music, maaan. Helps me to stay in tuuuune... Mike: WHOA! I think I'm seeing THINGS! Ray: So you're in tune, maaaaan! Wall: IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU ARE STONED {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990111.html

• [[Apartment Hall]] Mike: Ok. So first try wasn't that hot. But this time... Psycho Roomie 1: The TOP drawer is MINE!!!!! Psycho Roomie 2: We'll see about THAT! Psycho Roomie 1: Oh yeah??? Psycho Roomie 2: YEAH!!! Psycho Roomie 1: OOOOW! Leggo! Help! Help! Call 911! Oh, the humanity! Background: SCREECH! BOOM! GAAH! crash! POW!! splerggh THUD Psycho Roomie 2: I'm warning you... put down that knife! Psycho Roomie 1: You first! Mike: Maybe next time... {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990112.html

• [[Apartment Hall]] Mike: Maybe I'm being too picky. Maybe I should try to be more understanding. Mike: Hi! I'm Mike Green. I was wondering... Steve: Looking for a place to stay, uh? Well, you are here just in time! Mike: Nice decoration! Black candles... Uh, say... is that a pentacle? Steve: We're makin' a little "new home" ritual... Waldo! the blood donor is here! Waldo: GREAT! Mike: Uh... maybe I should consider moving to Australia... Steve: Hey! Get back here, you selfish, unconsiderate person! We already summoned the Prince of Darkness! {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990113.html

• [[Apartment Hall]] Mike: The last room... My last chance to live with normal people... Mike: I can't look! Mike, Roger: Oh, just GREAT! {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990115.html

• [[Apartment Hall]] Roger: Uh, listen Mike. We're already out of room here. Dave just moved in... Mike: Right. That's TWO people. There's still room for another. Roger: Oh. Well, the other guy is... ummm.. Ray. The hippie... you know him, right? Mike: Ha! You liar! I just saw him! He's living in the building across the street! Roger: That must have been his astral body... don't go in there! Mike: Nice try, buster. {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990118.html

• [[Boys' Apartment]] Roger: Really, Mike. I don't think you're gonna like this place... Mike: Hey. I'll decide if I like it or not, okay? Roger: But we have termites! Noisy neighbors! Bad plumbing! Mike: Hi Dave! Tell me, is this place THAT bad? Dave: It's WORSE. He snores big time. Roger: Right! In four keys! Stacatto or allegro vivace, your choice. Mike: Bummer. I'll have to think about it. Dave: But I still prefer him over the satanic blood suckers! {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990119.html

• [[Boys' Apartment]] Roger: Listen, Dave, we just can't let Mike move in here! Dave: Why not? Roger: Are you kidding? The guy's a PSYCHO! He'll want to RULE our lives! For the sake of freedom we have to SCARE HIM OFF!!! Dave: And how, exactly are we going to do that? Dave: Now I AM scared!! Roger: If George Washington wore tights, we shall do what it takes to protect the American whatever! {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990120.html

• [[Boys' Apartment]] Dave: I can't believe I'm doing this... Mike: Sooo... are you Roger's little sister? My, you are just like him, but a whole lot better looking! Roger: Ok. Back to the ol' drawing board. Dave: That's it. I'm OUTTA here!! {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990121.html

• [[Boys' Apartment]] Mike: My God. What a day! But at least I finally found a place to stay, I guess... Roger: Exactly WHAT are you doing? Dave: Removing your accordion solo CDs from the top drawer! Roger: Wait. Is that Marilyn Manson? Mike: If I jump off from here, would that be enough to kill myself, or just to break a few bones? {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}}
  
  

  http://crfh.net/d/19990122.html